Thoughts that are coming to mind. After going to Cedars to see the head of neurology it is very hard to not feel defeated. It is just going in a loop of all the same things but, no answers. This disease started when I was about 15 and didn’t really become bad until I hit closer to 24. I’m 26 and all the tests, imaging and procedures are the same. There is a weird switch that happens when you go from child disease to still having it unanswered as a legal adult. It is a switch between being a child and being an adult but also not really. I’ve lost so much because of this disease and can’t seem to get past the feeling of loss. It’s hard for people to remeber you as an athletic person but now you struggle even stepping up a curb or walking on uneven ground. It’s hard to be happy for friends because you want what they have.